What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and...

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

Procter & Gamble to Cut 7,000 Jobs - WSJ

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

The Number of Retirees Filing for Social Security Is Surging Under President Donald Trump -- and It's an Ominous Warning - The Motley Fool

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

Clair Obscur: Expedition 33 Developer "Wants To" Add One Of Its Most Requested Features - TheGamer

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

King Charles Shares Super Rare Photo With Late Father Prince Philip - AOL.com

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

What does the Turkish word çıplak mean?

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

"Can God create iron that God cannot bend?" Isn't it unreasonable to ask this about a being believed to have created logic? After all, God can create a logic that we can't understand right now that both are possible at the same time, right?

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

NASA Switches to Backup Fuel Line After Psyche Thruster Glitch - Gizmodo

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

Make Nazis afraid again!

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

Meet the "prince of dragons" that started the tyrannosaur dynasty - Earth.com

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

Why are the people who don't support the LGBT community treated like super evil and cruel beings? People can have different opinions and thoughts on things.

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

The Aging Brain: 6 Things You Should Be Doing to Slow Cognitive Decline - CNET

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.